by Motavenda Melchizedek
And the woman said to the man, “I am coming to you with no agenda. I don’t need anything from you.” And he believed her. And then she felt her emptiness. And she wondered about men and about women and about their separateness. The apartness. And how it could be.
For so long.
And she cried out, as woman can, from the dark and deep place within her and he heard.
And she said, “I am afraid. Because I need you. To become whole and to complete me.”
And in her world, separateness and control were all that had kept her alive. And her fear was great and huge and it filled the empty space to receive him...and kept him apart. And her safe and empty. And it grieved her deeply. Their separateness.
And his indifference. She feared he was indifferent. And complete unto himself. And to know this would be too much.And so she said, “I am coming to you with no need. I need no thing from you.”And it rang empty and untrue between them.
And it lingered there. Obvious and untrue. Separating her.
And she became empty and unafraid in his absence and in her sorrow.
And said to him, unafraid, “I need you in order to become whole and to complete me.”
And it rang true and clean and safely between them.
And they felt the empty space and lingered there. The two of them. Together.
And the man said to her, “I cannot bear your need. I have been needed too much and these needs which you bring to me now are not for me to fill. I am too busy filling the false ones that the world has demanded of me and I am worn thin. Far into the future.”
“So you must leave. Go away woman and find a way to be your own man. To make the lie true for you too. To be comfortable false and happy too. Or accepting of just how unhappy we all are.”
And so it was that she could do no more. But be still and silent and feel...deeply feel...the empty space that only he could fill.
And her need became greater and more obvious to her. And powerful too.
And she began to understand what it is to be a woman. How powerfully knowing it is to be a woman.
And then she slept.